By Natia Tukhareli
On a Monday night, sitting in his Brooklyn office leaning back in an office chair, Doctor Andrew L. DeFazio specializing in gynecology took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. He seemed to be mentally skimming through his pregnant patient files with a serious face. “I try to see what their family structure is like, a lot of times they will have a family member or a friend with them,” said DeFazio. Additionally, he pays attention to his patients’ marital status because 10% of them are single.
Angela Yoctor, who attends Kings Borough Community College and works full time at Daffy’s said, “Struggling through five classes and working full time is hard, but getting close to my due date and realizing I will be a mother is a lot to juggle.” With her due date approaching quickly, she is very anxious to have her baby, but her studies will have to be put on hold for at least a semester. “I am saving up as much as I can and am working overtime in order to provide for my child, but my grades have dropped significantly.”
Expecting parents are struggling to simultaneously cope with the combined stress of pregnancy, school and work, all of which are important in different ways.
Sitting in Starbucks while sipping water, Alla Saple, a senior at Hunter College said, “I’m not trying to make excuses for myself, but only those pregnant will understand how hard it actually is to carry a human being inside your body while concentrating on school work.” Mothers-to-be are unaware of what to expect before and after their pregnancy, because everyone is affected differently. Some feel nothing during the nine months while others tend to get sick, dizzy, nauseous, and get stripped of any type of energy.
Shopping in Babies R’ Us while holding onto a pink teddy bear and a fluffy blanket, a student of Hunter College and a single mother-to-be Maria Serenio said, “he did his thing, got me pregnant and disappeared from the top of the earth. Therefore, I am left all alone to give birth and raise my child without a father, but I will not let that stop me from acquiring the education I need in order to give my daughter a better future.” Working at Charlie’s Leather and at Mirage Diner, taking classes while receiving no family or partner support, Serenio is stressed more than ever before. Despite it all, she refuses to get an abortion because she believes it is a blessing to have the ability to bring a life onto earth, even though the timing is way off. Serenio believes, patience and hope will bring her good things in life, and therefore, she is naming her daughter Patience as a symbol and a reminder.
When mothers are left to choose between their studies and children, kids hold higher priority. Nevertheless, in order to ease the struggle, the Women’s Center at John Jay College of Criminal Justice is planning a workshop to support the needs of pregnant students and new parents which will begin in the Spring of 2012. “The group will be broadly defined so that pregnant students can feel less uncomfortable in John Jay’s academic environment,” said Professor Yukins, the Director of the Women’s Center in a written statement. New parents will receive the attention and assistance they deserve, while having to balance the intense demands of both their children and studies.
Jose Guzman, laying his hand on his partners belly and smiling when feeling the kick of the baby, said “I am afraid I might be in the middle of class while my girlfriend is giving birth.” He wants to be next to his little family at every second of every minute but he also has school to worry about. On the other hand, Stephanie Catechise from Queens Borough Community College said, “I don’t want to be in the middle of class once my contractions start, and most definitely I don’t want my water breaking while listening in on a lecture.”
More students are taking time off from school in order to work and support their families. For those brave enough to keep and raise their children, studies are no longer top preference. “I have friends willing to help me raise my daughter, but how much can I really lean on them?” said Serenio. “Everyone has their own problems and I cannot wrap mine around their necks.” Once Patience is born, Serenio’s life will undergo major changes and her baby will take over as top priority. “Bye ,bye school, at least for a little while,” said Serenio.
These soon to be parents are worried about their futures and the difficult task of raising their newborns. However, they have all agreed to return to school once they get back on their feet in order to support their families and excel in their college education. “As soon as my daughter is old enough to go to Kindergarten, I am off to school,” said Diana Rodriguez from New York University. Some predict two or three years while others expect to be back in within the year.
Skimming through the pages of her history book, Saple said “I just have to deal with things, it was my choice to get pregnant, have a kid, go to school and work all at the same time; no one said life was going to be easy, this is just another obstacle I have to overcome to become a better person and a mother.”
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